Friday, June 3, 2011

How to Honor Your Wife

I hesitated to post this for a couple of reasons, which I will mention in a minute. But I decided to do it because of the insight and challenge it provides for men. There are a lot of helpful thoughts in this post from Mark Driscoll on how men need to honor their wives.

Two two reasons I hesitated are 1) because I'm not sure men really need to be called idiots and imbeciles repeatedly in order to be motivated to change, and 2) grace changes men, just like it changes everyone else. This piece is not infused with much grace and forgiveness which provide the power and motivation to change (in this case, changing to better honor your wife). The post will make you feel terrible about yourself, and sometimes that is needed, but we must always be directed to Jesus for forgiveness and help even as we repent.

So don't read this post as "I'm a terrible husband, and I just need to try harder." Don't make a mental check-list of all the things you are going to change about yourself by just gutting it out. Look to Christ first for help. Pray for his strength. Confess your failure to him. And rely upon him daily for grace to be a better husband.

With that focus, there is a lot to take away from Driscoll's challenge on honoring your wife:

Show Honor to Your Wife

Here’s what Peter has to say In 1 Peter 3:7:

    Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayer may not be hindered.

In the previous verse, 1 Peter 3:6, he said that women, when it comes to marriage are prone toward, what? Fear. Fear. And you know what? Those fears that the women have about marriage are legitimate.

Your Wife Trusts You with the Rest of Her Life

If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that he’ll walk with Jesus until the end, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.

As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.

Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear

Women have legitimate fears, and what Peter is saying is that men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.

Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”

No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.

1. Honor Your Wife Maritally

What this means is, gentlemen, you’re not looking for a girlfriend if you are single. You’re not looking for a roommate. You’re not looking for a cohabitation partner. You’re looking for a wife. You must honor her while dating, that is when you're on your best behavior. I don’t care if you apologize, do you repent and lead? Being sorry is not enough; being Christ-like is what is necessary.

Read The Rest Here.

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